We've all done it. We say we want something but then we don't do the things we need to do to make it happen. We get busy. And distracted. And stressed. Quite often, the stuff that we're doing instead is totally legit. We're paying the bills and cleaning the house and helping our mom. But the fact is, "why" just doesn't matter. What we truly care about isn't measured by our intentions or regrets or how much we worry. It's measured by what we do. That's the simple truth, whether you're talking about being a musician, being a photographer, building a business or anything else in this life. When you boil it all down, it's not a question of whether you want it. It's a question of whether you want it enough. Do you want it enough to get up at 7am to make time to write songs every day? To have a roommate at age thirty-five? To ride 40,000 miles a year in the back of a van that smells like Cheetos and stale beer? To laugh at the stupid joke of some douchebag just because he works for a record label or a radio station? To compromise your song for the record sales? To compromise your record sales for the song? To leave the house for a friend's show at 10 o'clock when you'd kill to stay on the couch and watch Netflix? Do you want it so badly that you can't do anything else? Because that's what it takes.
We prioritize. We make choices. No matter how much it may seem otherwise, we choose how we spend our time. If your job sucks up 80 hours a week, that doesn't leave a lot of time for other things. But every single day that you go to work, you are making a choice to work 80 hours a week and put that ahead of other things. There's nothing wrong with that, just make sure you understand that YOU chose it yesterday. YOU are choosing it today. And YOU will have to choose it–or not choose it–again tomorrow.
So I'll just say this: Be intentional in your choices and be honest with yourself and others about those choices. Quit worrying about the things that you are "supposed" to want and focus on the things that are actually important to you. There's nothing wrong with saying that you'd like to be a musician but you would rather be an accountant if it meant you got to spend more time at home with your family. Or that it's not worth it to you to live out of a van. Or even that you would rather drive a nice car and spend your two weeks paid vacation on a beach somewhere.
Don't apologize for knowing what you want. But don't make excuses for not doing the work either. Worry and regret are lies we tell ourselves in order to avoid the truth–that we care, but we don't care enough. Because when you really care, you don't make excuses. You make time to get it done.